Surrounded by Narcissists: Or, How to Stop Other Peoples Egos Ruining Your Life
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- Create Date：2022-08-05 08:16:36
- Update Date：2025-09-23
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- Author：Thomas Erikson
- ISBN：1785043676
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Summary
From the Sunday Times bestselling author of Surrounded by Idiots
Are you overshadowed by the narcissists in your life？ Are you worn out by their constant demands for attention， their absolute belief they are right （even when clearly they are not）， their determination to do what they want （regardless of impact）， and their baffling need to control everyone and everything around them？
In this thought-provoking， sanity-saving book， Thomas Erikson helps you understand what makes narcissists tick and， crucially， how to handle them without wearing yourself out in the process。 With the help of the behavioural model made famous in Surrounded by Idiots， Erikson provides all the tools you need to manage not just the narcissists around you but everyday narcissism as well - itself becoming more widespread in this age of social media。 Engaging and practical， Surrounded by Narcissists will help you free yourself from narcissistic agendas so you can pursue a happier， more fulfilling and successful life。
Are you overshadowed by the narcissists in your life？ Are you worn out by their constant demands for attention， their absolute belief they are right （even when clearly they are not）， their determination to do what they want （regardless of impact）， and their baffling need to control everyone and everything around them？
In this thought-provoking， sanity-saving book， Thomas Erikson helps you understand what makes narcissists tick and， crucially， how to handle them without wearing yourself out in the process。 With the help of the behavioural model made famous in Surrounded by Idiots， Erikson provides all the tools you need to manage not just the narcissists around you but everyday narcissism as well - itself becoming more widespread in this age of social media。 Engaging and practical， Surrounded by Narcissists will help you free yourself from narcissistic agendas so you can pursue a happier， more fulfilling and successful life。
Reviews
A
，
Dull， unsciency。。。
Terri
，
Are you tired of the Narcissists in your life and how they drain you？ If you are， then you should definitely read this book。 This is a wonderful book about how to identify and learn how the narcissists in your world tick。 This will help you keep your sanity in the world that narcissists think they own。
Jessica
，
Fantastic book on narcissism。 The author writes in a perfect mix of wit， hint of sarcasm， and serious content。 This book covers the span of so much information， but not in an overwhelming way。 Very simple。 I enjoyed that he didn’t downplay the potential dangers of narcissism while also acknowledging that we all have some narcissistic characteristics but that there is a difference between characteristics and a personality disorder。 One of the most interesting things I learned from this was that a Fantastic book on narcissism。 The author writes in a perfect mix of wit， hint of sarcasm， and serious content。 This book covers the span of so much information， but not in an overwhelming way。 Very simple。 I enjoyed that he didn’t downplay the potential dangers of narcissism while also acknowledging that we all have some narcissistic characteristics but that there is a difference between characteristics and a personality disorder。 One of the most interesting things I learned from this was that a full blown narcissist personality disorder can， in fact， not be cured。 That was interesting to me。 He also talks about the points when this turns to abuse and when you turn and walk （or run） away。 But along with that， he discusses the true nature of narcissism being born and growing in our current culture。 How to treat people with these traits。 How to avoid these traits in ourselves。 How to recognize them as well and how they may interact with different personalities。 Very thorough。 I loved that there was also a basic test to answer “am I a narcissist？” Although of course he encourages that this must be officially diagnosed by a professional。As someone who has a narcissist pretty close to me for a long time， I found myself saying， “yep， yep， yep，” so often and really was able to take away some good info on how to handle certain situations。 I’d recommend this book。*thank you netgalley for a review copy of this book。 My opinions are my own。 。。。more
Sharon Naylor Toris
，
Writers will often read self-help books to capture the depths of their characters' inner lives and diagnoses。 If this is why you're reading this book， and not that you have a pile of narcissists around you， you'll find insights that make the battle feel winnable。 Coping strategies stand out， and you'll soon not be able the mercy of these grabbers。 Solutions are here。 The keys to some of the most confounding attacks and grumblings are here。 You may find that your 'character' is hard to understand Writers will often read self-help books to capture the depths of their characters' inner lives and diagnoses。 If this is why you're reading this book， and not that you have a pile of narcissists around you， you'll find insights that make the battle feel winnable。 Coping strategies stand out， and you'll soon not be able the mercy of these grabbers。 Solutions are here。 The keys to some of the most confounding attacks and grumblings are here。 You may find that your 'character' is hard to understand because you/reader are not anything like them。 Sometimes it's a relief to get the message that this is a puzzle you can't solve， so skedaddle。 You'll be fine。 Your characters will be fine。 。。。more
Hope
，
#surrroundedByNarcissists by @thomaseriksonwriter is what I listened to last week on audio via @netgalley and thanks for the approval from @macmillan。audio ！ #narcissism is not a joke。 Although it's true that many of us can be self-centered/self-obsessed even， at times， be assured， this alone does NOT make you a narcissist！ Don't let anyone #gaslight you into thinking you are just because you practice #selfcare or need to express how you feel。 True clinical narcissists do not care at ALL about o #surrroundedByNarcissists by @thomaseriksonwriter is what I listened to last week on audio via @netgalley and thanks for the approval from @macmillan。audio ！ #narcissism is not a joke。 Although it's true that many of us can be self-centered/self-obsessed even， at times， be assured， this alone does NOT make you a narcissist！ Don't let anyone #gaslight you into thinking you are just because you practice #selfcare or need to express how you feel。 True clinical narcissists do not care at ALL about others and much like #psychopaths will stop at nothing to get what they want at any and all costs without a care if it affects others。 Feel better？ Give this book a read。 Not only will it prove you that you aren't a narcissist （even though you MAY be a bit obsessed over your -ehemmm- bookstagram） but it will also help you spot them in your own life， and give excellent advice on how to respond and extricate yourself from their clutches。 An excellent read just like his #SurroundedByPsychopaths that I read a few years ago。 I really also need to read his #SurroundedbyIdiots because， well， it isnt quite nice to CALL someone an idiot， so what exactly is that all about！？ I'm not sure but curious。 Give all of his books a read or listen and learn how to spot the idiot， psychopath or narcissist in your life！ I bet you've run into one or two， if you havent， lucky you， this book will help you to suss out the warning signs and red flags！A 5 star audiobook for performance and content。 。。。more
Lindsay Nixon
，
I was hesitant when the author quoted WIKIPEDIA as a source in the first few pages， but kept reading… gah。 This is a pass。 The author isn’t an authority or expert on the subject matter。 There are almost no citations。 You'd be better off reading articles on Psychologytoday。com or another reputable source re: NPD。Please read another book on NPD， preferably one written by a therapist with 20+ years specialized experience。 Thanks to netgalley for my ARC。 I was hesitant when the author quoted WIKIPEDIA as a source in the first few pages， but kept reading… gah。 This is a pass。 The author isn’t an authority or expert on the subject matter。 There are almost no citations。 You'd be better off reading articles on Psychologytoday。com or another reputable source re: NPD。Please read another book on NPD， preferably one written by a therapist with 20+ years specialized experience。 Thanks to netgalley for my ARC。 。。。more
Kathrin Shawcross
，
Some glimmers of insight but overall a bit haphazard in its approach。 Erikson asked a lot of questions but didn't deliver thorough answers。Several times he would fail to develop his thoughts on something， with a faux sense of respect for its complexity as his excuse only to mention it really flippantly elsewhere in the text。I enjoyed parts of it but would have preffered something with more acedemic vigour。 Erikson doesn't write with enough personality got the book to rely on that alone。 Some glimmers of insight but overall a bit haphazard in its approach。 Erikson asked a lot of questions but didn't deliver thorough answers。Several times he would fail to develop his thoughts on something， with a faux sense of respect for its complexity as his excuse only to mention it really flippantly elsewhere in the text。I enjoyed parts of it but would have preffered something with more acedemic vigour。 Erikson doesn't write with enough personality got the book to rely on that alone。 。。。more
Rebecca Brenner Graham， PhD
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a narcissist makes everything about themselves。 they project themselves and their own questionable motivations onto people around them。 they seek attention and power。 they attack when criticized and are often hypocritical because their consistent ideology is self-advancement。 if you have a narcissist near you， you shouldn’t take them personally， and you should get away / leave if possible。
Audrey Adamson Stars in Her Eye
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This was everywhere！ The author threw around some reviews and made a mistaken over all assumption。 Human are not all narcissists and not all narcissists are the same。
LenaMarie
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I always love reading about people's personality traits。 This book was quite interesting and very informative。 I found it was able to prompt thinking about the people in my life （and in society in general） who may fit the description！ I did enjoy the advance copy provided by NetGalley but will probably revisit the hard copy of this book as I think some of the material will be better presented/viewed in printed form versus ebook format。 I will also be exploring other works by this author。 I always love reading about people's personality traits。 This book was quite interesting and very informative。 I found it was able to prompt thinking about the people in my life （and in society in general） who may fit the description！ I did enjoy the advance copy provided by NetGalley but will probably revisit the hard copy of this book as I think some of the material will be better presented/viewed in printed form versus ebook format。 I will also be exploring other works by this author。 。。。more
thereadingowlvina （Elvina Ulrich）
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What an informative and entertaining book about narcissism！ I learned a lot about this topic and glad that this non-fiction book was presented in an easy to understand way！ It was not too sciency and the narrator was great！ It explains what narcissism is， narcissistic traits which is different from narcissistic personality disorder， the difference between a narcissist and a psychopath， how to handle a narcissist and so much more！ I do feel that reading about the four-colour behavioral model in t What an informative and entertaining book about narcissism！ I learned a lot about this topic and glad that this non-fiction book was presented in an easy to understand way！ It was not too sciency and the narrator was great！ It explains what narcissism is， narcissistic traits which is different from narcissistic personality disorder， the difference between a narcissist and a psychopath， how to handle a narcissist and so much more！ I do feel that reading about the four-colour behavioral model in the author's previous book Surrounded by Idiots may help to understand certain area in this book much more。 Overall， this was a good book to go to if you want to learn about narcissism。 I thoroughly enjoyed it and planning on reading the author's backlisted books starting with Surrounded by Psychopaths。 Pub。 Date: June 21st， 2022***Thank you St。 Martin's Essentials and NetGalley for this gifted reading copy。 All opinions expressed are my own。*** 。。。more
Megan Watson
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Thank you to St。 Martin's Essentials for a gift advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review。 As someone who is close with multiple people I'd classify as narcissists， I was so excited for this book。 I had never read anything by Erikson before but was very interested based on the synopsis。 I was very disappointed by this book， though。 It started out with a great explanation of what makes a narcissists and outlines narcissistic personality disorder。 However， I quickly noticed there Thank you to St。 Martin's Essentials for a gift advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review。 As someone who is close with multiple people I'd classify as narcissists， I was so excited for this book。 I had never read anything by Erikson before but was very interested based on the synopsis。 I was very disappointed by this book， though。 It started out with a great explanation of what makes a narcissists and outlines narcissistic personality disorder。 However， I quickly noticed there were no sources for the information and everything is told to the reader very matter of factly。 I looked to the references section， and there wasn't even a source cited until Chapter 7， and only 15 citations for the entire book。 And the most important part - discussions on narcissistic personality disorder do not even reference the DSM！ This book is very preachy （not in the usual self help way） and Erikson writes as if he is THE expert on the topic。 I expected after the first couple of chapters for him to be like "hah！ these chapters were a joke！ they were written from the POV of a narcissist" But unfortunately， those chapters were meant to be taken as fact。 There are some nuggets of advice on noticing when gaslighting is happening， and for dealing with narcissists。 But do not recommend this as an unbiased， reliable source on learning about narcissists and living with them 。。。more
Ann
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This was an advance reader copy， so I hope that there may be more editing coming。 I did not appreciate the author's casual tone and found certain sections seemed disorganized。 I didn't have many useful takeaways from this book。 This was an advance reader copy， so I hope that there may be more editing coming。 I did not appreciate the author's casual tone and found certain sections seemed disorganized。 I didn't have many useful takeaways from this book。 。。。more
Lauren McCullough
，
Since this is not written by a trained mental health professional， it's hard for me to recommend this book to anyone。 If you decide to read it， it's a good primer to the topic， but you definitely should read more from those who work in the field of psychology and directly with people who have NPD。The 2nd third of the book about collective narcissism was not very helpful in dealing with interpersonal relationships， and honestly， read very much just like the author letting off steam about how they Since this is not written by a trained mental health professional， it's hard for me to recommend this book to anyone。 If you decide to read it， it's a good primer to the topic， but you definitely should read more from those who work in the field of psychology and directly with people who have NPD。The 2nd third of the book about collective narcissism was not very helpful in dealing with interpersonal relationships， and honestly， read very much just like the author letting off steam about how they don't care for social media， like one of those viral Facebook posts that sounds profound， but really is just griping about how kids these days are ruining society。 I think there is validity in exploring the traits of narcissism within the culture， but this approach felt very judgmental， rather than a critical analysis。In the last third it focuses on parenting and again， these are all the authors opinions who is not a trained professional on parenting。 While there is certainly room to critique parents， the author makes a lot of generalizations that group those who follow a more conscious parenting approach， in with a small percentage of parents who may be making choices that don’t enforce boundaries。 By not defining the difference between any parenting modalities or citing anything other than anecdotal research， he ends up implying that anything less than an authoritarian style could result in raising a narcissist。， despite the mountain of research that shows the benefits of a more emotional intelligence parenting approach。 The author makes no distinction， which makes me think they either aren’t familiar with different parenting techniques and the research behind them or doesn’t think they are valid。 Regardless， this book is presented as an expert view point but the author has no credentials in the field of family psychology。I am reading this from an American perspective while the author is Swedish， so that definitely influences our differing opinions on how this topic is discussed， but at the end of the day this was written by someone outside of the mental health field。 The author is a motivational coach and public speaker who has found a niche they can write about and market in a very appealing way。So to really drive home my main feeling: I caution anyone picking this up。 Do not take this as the be all and end all of NPD and I encourage you to read one of the many books on this topic authored by someone with a degree in counseling and treating mental health issues。***Thank you to Macmillan Audio for providing me with the Audiobook for free via NetGalley for an unbiased review。 。。。more
Ellen Grönholm
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Ger insikt om narcissism och narcissistiska drag。 Väver in exempel och personligheter。 Dock är den repetitiv och jag anser att den har för mycket åsikter。
Edi McNinch
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Interesting descriptions of degrees of narcissism。 It seems we all must have a little bit of self promotion or there is no self esteem。 It's all in deciding at what point is it too much of a good thing and when does it become clinical and maybe even dangerous to be around these behaviours。 He outlines narcissism similar to his other books using colors to categorize For anyone seeking clarification， this is a good reference。 It can get pretty deep and confusing so I'd advise taking notes unless y Interesting descriptions of degrees of narcissism。 It seems we all must have a little bit of self promotion or there is no self esteem。 It's all in deciding at what point is it too much of a good thing and when does it become clinical and maybe even dangerous to be around these behaviours。 He outlines narcissism similar to his other books using colors to categorize For anyone seeking clarification， this is a good reference。 It can get pretty deep and confusing so I'd advise taking notes unless you're skimming thru just to see what it's all about。 Excellent descriptions and examples are provided。 I was provided an advanced reader copy but was under no obligation to write a review。 The opinions expressed are my own。 Thanks to the author， publisher and NetGalley for allowing me access to the book。 。。。more
Shannon
，
If there are any narcissists in your life， or people who are prone to narcissistic behavior， this book will be very helpful to you。 Thomas Erikson has written a highly informative book that starts with the behaviors that are classic to narcissism， and goes on to help understand and effectively cope with any narcissists that might be in your life。 He also takes it a step further to show what narcissism tendencies look like in society today。 I was surprised by how many there were that I now just t If there are any narcissists in your life， or people who are prone to narcissistic behavior， this book will be very helpful to you。 Thomas Erikson has written a highly informative book that starts with the behaviors that are classic to narcissism， and goes on to help understand and effectively cope with any narcissists that might be in your life。 He also takes it a step further to show what narcissism tendencies look like in society today。 I was surprised by how many there were that I now just take to be normal behavior （social media I'm looking at you）。 I learned a lot of very good information and swear I highlighted half of this book。 In particular I appreciated the examples on how to not apologize for creating boundaries， and Thomas gives very good， clear examples that will be easy to model in my own communication when I need it。Thank you to NetGalley and St。 Martin's Press for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion。 。。。more
Stephanie
，
I received the eARC of this book via NetGalley a while ago， but found the tone in the introduction a little off-putting。 I set it down for a few weeks and then came back to it。 The author uses an undertone of humor in his writing， it’s of course meant to make the book more personable and conversational， as well as make the subject matter less intimidating， but in this instance， it felt out of place。 The author felt distant from this subject matter。 I don’t mean this disrespectfully， but I’m alwa I received the eARC of this book via NetGalley a while ago， but found the tone in the introduction a little off-putting。 I set it down for a few weeks and then came back to it。 The author uses an undertone of humor in his writing， it’s of course meant to make the book more personable and conversational， as well as make the subject matter less intimidating， but in this instance， it felt out of place。 The author felt distant from this subject matter。 I don’t mean this disrespectfully， but I’m always a bit skeptical when a book about something like narcissism is written by someone who doesn’t have an advanced degree or first-hand experience in that area。 I know the author has a degree in Communication and did quite a bit of research， including interviewing people in this field， yet it still felt like there was a distance from subject matter。 This reads like a casual and somewhat entertaining conversation with a friend who is interested in the subject matter。 A self-help book of sorts， a guide for recognizing narcissistic patterns of behavior or NPD and how you （and your personality type） might respond to a narcissist。 I did appreciate that this book talks about narcissism in society - specifically in leadership， groups and on social media。 That is an interesting and important conversation。 Unfortunately， this book wasn’t my cup of tea and didn’t approach this subject matter in a way I could appreciate。 I feel this needs to be approached with more of a degree of sensitivity and from a position of authority in the subject matter。 But I think some readers will take something away and it will make them think。 。。。more
Eline
，
I've only read 70 pages， so my opinion might change。This book is heavily opiniated and doesn't refer to any kind of scientific evidence at all。 A forum was used to show how common some narcistic behaviour patterns are。 I also feel like the author is projecting his own feelings about narcissism too much and I feel like I haven't learned anything from reading these 70 pages。 It's not terrible， but just way too long of a ramble for what it's trying to be。Now I use this book as an inspiration for a I've only read 70 pages， so my opinion might change。This book is heavily opiniated and doesn't refer to any kind of scientific evidence at all。 A forum was used to show how common some narcistic behaviour patterns are。 I also feel like the author is projecting his own feelings about narcissism too much and I feel like I haven't learned anything from reading these 70 pages。 It's not terrible， but just way too long of a ramble for what it's trying to be。Now I use this book as an inspiration for a character I'm writing， which works fine。 。。。more
YAsAIwobm45PUs
，
The first ~50% of the book is mostly repeated （sometimes 1:1） from Surrounded by Psychopaths so， in the beginning， I didn't have much hope for this book。 In the second half， there are plenty of hypothetical questions， and philosophical disputes， in short - food for thought， which I enjoyed。 The author encourages us to think through our own actions and talks about the culture of narcists， a growing trend of social media appearance。 He mentions not only individualistic narcists but also narcissist The first ~50% of the book is mostly repeated （sometimes 1:1） from Surrounded by Psychopaths so， in the beginning， I didn't have much hope for this book。 In the second half， there are plenty of hypothetical questions， and philosophical disputes， in short - food for thought， which I enjoyed。 The author encourages us to think through our own actions and talks about the culture of narcists， a growing trend of social media appearance。 He mentions not only individualistic narcists but also narcissistic groups that attack everything and everyone who is against them or didn't pick a side。 Erikson mentions also traits of narcists， how to recognize them， fight them and how they operate， but it's roughly the same story as with psychopaths。The language， as always with this author， is friendly and non-scientific。 Unlike in other books by Thomas Erikson， DISC is not the main point， although concepts still get repeated plenty of times。Therefore the 5-star rating。 For a person who didn't read previous books， it will be an exciting read。 For people who did - I recommend skimming through the first half。 。。。more
Jill
，
Author Thomas Erikson has a specific way of looking at the people around him。 He’s developed a system for classifying people using the DISC system。 He divides people into four main groups: Dominance （Red）， Influence （Yellow）， Stability （Green）， and Compliance （Blue）。 Using the color designations as a shortcut， he can speak to the qualities， strengths， and weaknesses of each personality type using the colors as a shortcut。 And if those four DISC qualities sound like an oversimplification of the c Author Thomas Erikson has a specific way of looking at the people around him。 He’s developed a system for classifying people using the DISC system。 He divides people into four main groups: Dominance （Red）， Influence （Yellow）， Stability （Green）， and Compliance （Blue）。 Using the color designations as a shortcut， he can speak to the qualities， strengths， and weaknesses of each personality type using the colors as a shortcut。 And if those four DISC qualities sound like an oversimplification of the complex human experience， Erikson understands that very few people are only in one category。 He recognizes that most of us are a combination of colors and experience a more layered life than these descriptions offer。 But the way he uses these colors to describe how people react， or how narcissists can use someone’s weaknesses against them， hit home for me so hard when he described exactly how a former boss forced me out of my job， and in a way I hadn’t been able to put into words myself。 With this simple system is a lot of understanding of human behavior。 For his latest book， Erikson takes his system and applies it to narcissists。 I think most everyone has encountered one， whether it be a boss （or former boss）， a classmate， a coworker， a family member， or just someone you recognize in the public eye。 Erikson uses his DISC system to show readers how narcissists read people and can figure out the most effective way to control them。 But most of this book is simply a deep dive into what a narcissist is and how to recognize them。 And more important， he gives people very strategic ideas for getting away from a narcissistic relationship。 Erikson talks about our culture and how it contributes to the growing number of narcissists we have， and he talks about about how much of personality comes from our environment as opposed to what we’re born with。 And while all that is important and interesting， it’s not the best part。 The best part of Surrounded by Narcissists is how well Erikson understands how destructive manipulators can be and how much time he spends helping readers get out of those toxic relationships—or to avoid them altogether。 There is so much smart advice about what to say and not to say， what to do and not to do， that those struggling with someone in their life that they think may be a narcissist can find understanding and relief in these pages。 I really liked Surrounded by Narcissists。 I have read some of Erikson’s work in the past， and I am a fan of his DISC system。 It has helped me understand my own behaviors as well as the people around me， and I think that’s made me a more thoughtful person。 And as someone who has felt vulnerable to manipulative people in the past， I loved how specific Erikson was in giving advice in dealing with narcissists。 I think this is a fantastic book for anyone who needs to find a way out of a bad relationship， whether it’s a romantic relationship， a friendship， or a work thing。 He gets it， he has thought long and hard about what to do about it， and he’s sharing all he knows with us。 I hate calling books a must-read， but Surrounded by Narcissists just may be a must-read in today’s culture。 Egalleys for Surrounded by Narcissists were provided by St。 Martin’s Press Essentials through NetGalley， with many thanks。 。。。more
Donna
，
I was drawn to this book because of my inability to reasonably cope with the narcissists in my life。 I appreciated the practical advice given and was able to better understand the source of this personality trait。 I wish that I could get one of my "narcissist" friends to actually read it too！ I was drawn to this book because of my inability to reasonably cope with the narcissists in my life。 I appreciated the practical advice given and was able to better understand the source of this personality trait。 I wish that I could get one of my "narcissist" friends to actually read it too！ 。。。more
Marie Farrior
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Thank you to NetGalley for allowing me to give my honest review on Surrounded by a narcissist。Surrounded by a narcissist explains what a narcissist is， How to determine the characteristics of a narcissist， and How to tell the difference between a narcissist and a Psychopath。 It does talk about the Jail system and goes in-depth with what they need and how to satisfy them。I do think this book can have you looking at people sideways because you are analyzing people base off what you learned。Very go Thank you to NetGalley for allowing me to give my honest review on Surrounded by a narcissist。Surrounded by a narcissist explains what a narcissist is， How to determine the characteristics of a narcissist， and How to tell the difference between a narcissist and a Psychopath。 It does talk about the Jail system and goes in-depth with what they need and how to satisfy them。I do think this book can have you looking at people sideways because you are analyzing people base off what you learned。Very good information 。。。more
Richard Derus
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Real Rating: 3。5* of fiveHAPPY PUB DAY！ 21 June 2022US society， it seems， is a narcissism-generating machine。 Largely dealt with in silence， the harm narcissistic people cause in public and private spheres impacts all of us。 In any relationship， a narcissist uses very specific strategies to control you， and the conversation about them， so they appear brilliant at all times。 A recent scandal involving a specific Hollywood star's behavior towards another person is understandable more completely in Real Rating: 3。5* of fiveHAPPY PUB DAY！ 21 June 2022US society， it seems， is a narcissism-generating machine。 Largely dealt with in silence， the harm narcissistic people cause in public and private spheres impacts all of us。 In any relationship， a narcissist uses very specific strategies to control you， and the conversation about them， so they appear brilliant at all times。 A recent scandal involving a specific Hollywood star's behavior towards another person is understandable more completely in this light。 Doubtless you can see many traits in the stories the author uses to explain narcissism that adhere to lots of folks you know。。。but never knew why you had trouble warming up to them。A word of caution: Don't think you're suddenly a mental-health professional and run around diagnosing others。 They won't like it， and it will bite you hard。 The author is careful， unsurprisingly since his brand is as a communicator， to state that he is synthesizing research and presenting conclusions based on data， not on his mental-health expertise。 。。。more
Jess | dapper。reads
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I took listening to this book with a grain of salt。 The author really has no credentials to talk about this topic （or many of the other topics in his books）， but he does do his research and talk to people that DO have the credentials to speak about this topic。 Personally I feel this could have have been done in better way。 It’s okay， there’s basic information on narcissism and I was mostly interested to see if he went the clinical route with this。 While some of this book is spent in the clinical I took listening to this book with a grain of salt。 The author really has no credentials to talk about this topic （or many of the other topics in his books）， but he does do his research and talk to people that DO have the credentials to speak about this topic。 Personally I feel this could have have been done in better way。 It’s okay， there’s basic information on narcissism and I was mostly interested to see if he went the clinical route with this。 While some of this book is spent in the clinical route， it also spends a lot of time in the slang term of the narcissist - like when someone says they’re “depressed”， they may or may not mean clinically diagnosed， they could just mean very sad - and I really would have preferred to spend more time with the clinical definition and less with the general public interpretation as I feel this really downplays the severities of mental illness。I do see the value in this book though。 There are many people that don’t have clinical experience with psychological terms and this book is a great place to start。 There are enough official definitions that I do feel this book has accuracy。 The author takes us through situations where we may run into someone with narcissistic tendencies and how to recognize them。 It’s interesting。 I also feel it important to remember that different countries feel differently about topics surrounding mental health。 This author is based in Sweden and I am reading this from the perspective of the United States。 Thanks to NetGalley for the audio arc！ 。。。more
Kathy
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3。5 rounded upa few new items， lots of stuff I've heard or read before。 Clear and concise， easy to follow。 3。5 rounded upa few new items， lots of stuff I've heard or read before。 Clear and concise， easy to follow。 。。。more
KKEC Reads
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Surrounded by Narcissists by Thomas Erikson Published: June 21， 2022St。 Martin’s EssentialsPages: 306Genre: Self-Help， Non-FictionKKECReads Rating: 4/5I received a copy of this book for free， and I leave my review voluntarily。 Thomas Erikson is a motivator， author， and public speaker。 His book Surrounded by Idiots is one of the world’s best-selling non-fiction books and has been translated into over 40 languages。 His way of sharing his knowledge with his readers is by using specific storytelling Surrounded by Narcissists by Thomas Erikson Published: June 21， 2022St。 Martin’s EssentialsPages: 306Genre: Self-Help， Non-FictionKKECReads Rating: 4/5I received a copy of this book for free， and I leave my review voluntarily。 Thomas Erikson is a motivator， author， and public speaker。 His book Surrounded by Idiots is one of the world’s best-selling non-fiction books and has been translated into over 40 languages。 His way of sharing his knowledge with his readers is by using specific storytelling and lots of humor。 To achieve new skills should be easy。 Therefore， he does not write in a way packed with numbers and details， but rather in a way that will make the reader say: Ah！ I recognize that！ Thomas has devoted close to 30 years of his career to helping people communicate with each other。 Along the way， he´s developed practical and functional tools that facilitate professional and private life。 Thomas believes in the importance of a higher understanding of others to decrease the number of unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts in a relationship or at work。“If you don’t know which problem you’re supposed to be solving， you won’t even see any need for a solution。”Thomas Erikson takes a deep dive into narcissism and a lot of the causes and effects relating to narcissism。 The statistics were staggering， and the examples provided were fascinating and terrifying。 The research was very well done and thorough， and while Thomas Erikson is not a doctor， he has done the work to provide the facts。 I found the examples and scenarios so interesting。 It’s wild because as I was reading these chapters， there would be individuals who would flash into my mind with various explanations。 I found using the fictional Linda to explain the spectrum of narcissism helpful。 Overall， I found this book hard to put down。 It is well written and easy to understand。 I enjoyed how there were pieces of Erikson’s previous text， Surrounded by Psychopaths， mentioned。 After reading the thorough， well-presented， and written to be a valuable tool for those dealing with a narcissist on any level; I may have to read the rest of Erikson’s books。 。。。more
LaShanda Chamberlain
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I’ve always heard about narcissism but I never fully understood it。 This book really helped me understand it & narcissists。 It contained essential information but with a twist of humor。 I thoroughly enjoyed reading it & I now have a better understanding of narcissism。 Erickson did a great job with this one & I plan to check out more of his work in the future。
Marti
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Surrounded by Narcissists by Thomas Erikson （This book comes out June 21。）What a fascinating read！ I don’t usually read books that are nonfiction during the school year， but I made an exception for this book and I am glad I did。 I found the information presented interesting and informative。 It was written in a manner that was easily understood with examples that were important for understanding。 The narcissistic personality is a certified personality disorder and does not have a high cure rate。 Surrounded by Narcissists by Thomas Erikson （This book comes out June 21。）What a fascinating read！ I don’t usually read books that are nonfiction during the school year， but I made an exception for this book and I am glad I did。 I found the information presented interesting and informative。 It was written in a manner that was easily understood with examples that were important for understanding。 The narcissistic personality is a certified personality disorder and does not have a high cure rate。 The explanation of the various symptoms and behaviors really clearly delineated the difference between people who are vain or have some narcissistic traits and a true narcissist and how they might operate。 I particularly liked that he used the colors （from the four Color Personality Test） of red， green， yellow and blue and he used those colors to help you understand how a narcissistic personality could manipulate you。 I would suggest that you consider purchasing this book in print - so you can flip through the sections that might not directly affect you which will allow you to focus on what is important to you， the reader。 Surrounded by Narcissists by Thomas Erikson was an interesting read。 。。。more
Carmen
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